Monday, January 09, 2006

One for Claude

Always one to help a fellow feline, I hope you all out there will put out a purr for Claude. I'd send him some of my kitekat to cheer up his poor Human, but for some reason Humans have some really funny ideas about what is considered to be -nice-. So I'll just send a purr... be well, Claude.

A harsh week...

Meow. Here I sit, fur fluffed up and tail twitching as I recall the past week. Ahh, it has been tough - only the hardiest of kitties could have coped. But here I sit, clawing quietly at Female-Human's thighs, in one piece - so I guess I must be a pretty hardy feline after all.
It started off with 'The Incident' with the door - that one, was pretty nasty. But I won't explain that one again in a hurry. Second, was the nasty thing with the nasty bug.
The nasty thing with the nasty bug, started like this. I was quietly poking around the trees outside the apartment where my Human's live, sniffing around my territory as we kitties do. (And also hoping to catch the eye of the Tom cat who lives downstairs - not that I am a vain cat, but I had just spent an hour grooming.) There I was, daydreaming about The Tom as I clawed my way across the tree trunk, when this thing attatched itself to my face. I didn't like it. But it wouldn't move. Being a sensible feline, I just decided to ignore it and go back to looking for The Tom. The trouble really got started a few days later, when Female-Human spotted the nasty bug. She handed me over to Male-Human, who.... (Oh, the horror and loss of dignity...) turned me on my back, trapped me there, and proceeded to try and remove it! Well, I won't even tell you how that made me feel. Put me right off purring. Male-Human didn't even apologise! Hmpf.
The third thing... was the wetting. I had been playing in my kitty litter, and I went to find Female-Human and give her some clawing, just to see if she would reward me with some kitekat, like a good Human. Instead, what does she do? She wrinkles her nose at me, then dissapears for a while. I, of course, went to investigate - and what do I find?? She was preparing the big bowl. The one full of water. Before I knew it, Male-Human had me. And he wetted me. Oh, the humiliation.
If The Tom had seen, I would have had to cower under the table for a week.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

'The Incident'

Meow. I'd just finished digging around in my kitty-litter tray when I made the decision to share 'the incident' with you. It happened this morning.
I was quietly sitting on the Female-Human, purring and covering her with love and affection. I was giving her a bit of friendly clawing, when suddenly she yelped and propelled me across the room! Really, I have no idea what upset her so much, it was only a bit of gentle, loving, careful clawing.... Anyway. I was propelled across the room at such a pace, that my little kitty-senses didn't have any time to target the incoming door and avoid it. The door attacked me! The shame! And worse...while I was cowering, glaring and hissing in my most ferocious, I'm-a-big-kickass-cat way, and Female-Human started laughing of me!
However, I was treated to lots of cuddles and strokes afterwards. Even the Male-Human let me sit on his lap a bit. But I'll tell you one thing, that door had better watch out...